Update on NFP - The Marquette Method

So it's been awhile since I wrote about the Marquette Method NFP we were trying out. I felt compelled to write about it because when we first heard of it, I could find NO information about how it worked for real people ... just the research.

Well, we have decided we are infinitely happier with this method than the sympto-thermal method. Our youngest has continued to have many medical needs, thus really pushing us more to wait to have any additional children and needing a method we had confidence in.

He is now 21 months and older than his brother when he was born, which has helped give us time to devote to both of them and their needs at the present time. We have made it to our initial goal of waiting another winter before we would have another baby. Our new goal is to get through one more winter without getting pregnant, knowing how much it takes out of me and my body and knowing the demands of our baby's medical needs (not to mention two little boys:). If we did we would welcome our baby with open arms, but we also turst in God's perfect timing for us.

I love not adding more "medicines" to my body and making my body believe it is constantly pregnant. After the initial struggle to learn it, my husband and I both agree it has also strengthened our marriage in ways we never could have imagined. We communicate a lot better with each other. Not perfectly, of course, but a lot better and we have a lot more respect for each other.

Plus we have gained confidence in a method that allows us to prayerfully discern if we are called to have more children at the time, while allowing God to make the ultimate decisions. Overall, it has just set our hearts at ease.

You can find my other posts on the Marquette Method here. I am by no means an expert, but am happy to help out others who are looking for information that seemed very challenging at best to find.

The Web site for tracking has also made it very easy for us to figure everything out and has been such a blessing. God bless and good luck!

Remembering David with Hope

We just got back earlier this week from home after my cousin passed away suddenly at 24-years-old. Despite of his and my grandpa's death, I have to say our family has been tremendously blessed. Until this past 12 months, no one of our grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins or siblings close to us had died except my one of my grandpas who died when I was 1 and unfortunately I was way too young to remember him.

I know I am not that old, but that means for 30 years of my life, I had not had to deal with the grief of losing someone who had been a big part of my life at all. My husband and I lost 3 babies due to miscarriage a few years ago and that was extremely, overwhelmingly painful, but it was still different. To go home and not see both my Grandpa and now my cousin, it seems like a weird dream - one I wish I could wake up from.

I think in my head it was almost like babies and the unborn were very venerable, but once they were born alright and brought home, they would not die ... even though all people do at some point. I guess some of that is that invincibility of youth. Regardless, losing my Grandpa and then losing David a few months later is a jerk back into reality.

David was a big part of my life growing up. I don't remember him ever not being there after he came into this world. Even when his family lived in Arizona for awhile, every time we saw them it was like no time had passed (which I pray is what happens for my kids should we be blessed to move home some day).

We used to live in the same neighborhood, go to the same church and same school and knew a lot of the same people. He was such a good, gentle boy who grew into a good gentle man. My son used to love to run up and play peek-a-boo with him and he had so much patience and a soft spot for little kids, he never turned them down.

All I kept thinking during his wake and funeral was, "It isn't fair. This isn't supposed to be this way." You know when you are little and your parents tell you life isn't fair - well I always assumed they just were referring to trivial matters like it wasn't fair my brother got a bigger cookie. But this is no trivial matter and we aren't talking about a smaller cookie.

Still, I think every person is put on this Earth for the amount of time God needs them to do His will. Some of them, like my niece Sydne and my babies only get a little bit of time, but touch and change hearts. Some may get years and some decades. I think although David's life ended at 24, his loving nature and good heart will continue to touch everyone who knew him and maybe even some who didn't and hopefully draw them closer to God. I pray maybe it makes some of those kids who weren't nice to him growing up stop and think twice before treating someone like they don't matter and I pray it helps all of us reevaluate where we are going and what we are doing or avoiding to be where we aim to be, living in God's presence.

I have this great vision of David sitting up there with both my grandpas and my Sammy, Annabella and Esperanza as well as Sydne and my Uncle David (who he was named after) just having a great big Mexican party waiting for us to arrive. That leaves me with a big smile on my face.

This song touched my heart as I lost my babies and it seems fitting for losing David too. The beauty is we have faith and hope we will be reunited again ... knowing that helps us carry on.

With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope