God pushes me in so many ways and even when I don't feel ready to face life challenges, He hands them to me and says to keep going.
This week, after our house being on the market for 100 days and us lowering the price a good $25k, we got an offer. I am not sure it will go through or what will happen with it, but it was nice to know that someone out there came in and likes our house and could make it their own.
If we didn't have to leave it, I would've easily stayed their another several years. It's difficult to look at the photos of all the work we put into it and not get to be there because it still feels like home. It's the first place since we were married that has and there are so many good memories there. But alas, we cannot keep it right now. It's not smart or practical and so we have to let it go.
It is so difficult to do that though, but I think God is making it easier by having buyers approach us finally. I hated the idea of selling it to a corporation to whom it is just a business transaction. At least we are not in the positions many people our age have found themselves in - unable to pay their mortgages and trying to fight off foreclosure. We were blessed in owning the house as long as we did and hope someday, we will get the chance to own another one.
This has been a good reminder to me that God will work it out. It has stinked and hasn't had the best outcome, but there is an end in sight and that brings a smile to my face.
With the challenges we have faced this summer, sometimes it's difficult to not compare ourselves to our friends and where they are in their lives. Most of them seem more financially stable and have everything more together. We have to remember that there are benefits and drawbacks of many of the life choices we make and it's easy to look from a distance and say "wow, wouldn't it be great...", but if you erase those choices, you may also very well erase who you became in the process and what gifts you have received as a result.
Now I feel like we just have to pick up the pieces and begin to move forward and build new dreams. We hope that one day, we will have a house again and can make it our own and things may be easier, but it is an important to remember that the easy times are not what shape us....it's the times when you have to really struggle that show what you're really made of. It's facing those difficulties without a clear way to solve the problems at hand trusting that God is leading you and knowing there's a plan for it all.
Although I definitely do not beg for more difficult times (I'm not psychotic:), I wouldn't trade any of the obstacles I have faced in my life for a life without challenges. I know so much of who I am and the faith in God, fight and determination I have are a direct result from those times. I know taking away the difficulties would be taking away many of the characteristics that make me stand out and make me the person I am. There's a definite peace in knowing that no matter how challenging life gets, I am so blessed with so many gifts and God doesn't leave me to face them alone.