Helping Out

We have been so blessed with friends both near and far helping us out the last six months, especially all of the time we were in the hospital with the little one. I know until being on bed rest and being with our baby who has been hospitalized 20 days this year on four separate occasions, I never really knew what would be helpful for those with kids hospitalized (or who are hospitalized themselves) and for those on bed rest.

Several people have offered to help, but were unsure what to do. I know there are people out there who have spent much more times in hospitals than us, but I know from our experience what we needed and what helped most.

I just wanted to share some of the most helpful things others have done for us to help inspire those with friends/family in need with ideas of ways to help. All I can say is we sure have some creative friends and family.

On bedrest:

Two friends from across the country made a care package complete with snacks, chocolate, a good book, a fun movie and a crossword puzzle book. Not only was it a surprise, but it kept me busy for hours.

We got a gift card for a grocery store nearby so my husband could buy already made dinners from their dinner bar and bring them home on the way home from work. This was extremely helpful since I was not supposed to spend more than 5 minutes standing and it was difficult to make dinner sitting down or in 5 minutes.

My mom and sister-in-law sent me a box of crafts, which I love to do and a lot of books. It helped encourage me to spend the time resting I needed to and helped me not be so bored.

During hospitalizations:

Both of our parents flew up and spent time helping out with our older son.

Several new friends offered to help with everything from buying groceries to watching our older son to doing our laundry.

Two different families watched our older son including giving him baths, washing his clothes and feeding him.

One sent dinner to the hospital so we didn't have to eat cafeteria food or fast food again.

One of our friends called us the night we came home from one of our hospital stays and said she was bringing over dinner that evening. While I wouldn't have asked her to do it, it was so appreciated.

A friend a few hours away sent us dinner in a box. How could you get more creative?!?!? She sent it complete with cookies and found a dinner that needed minimal preparation.

We got many phone calls, emails and our son was added to many prayer lists. The support from near and far gave us the strength to keep doing what we needed to do for our son and the continued prayers have been imperative.

While spending days in the hospital with a little person who can't talk, I thought of a few things I would do when someone I know finds themselves in this situation.

If I am nearby, bring up toiletries, a change of clothes, or anything else.

Offer to sit with the person who is hospitalized so the caretaker can take a short break. Days inside one building is not healthy for anyone.

If I am far away, send things like the crystal light instant drink packs someone sent me on bedrest. Those rock and most hospitals have a lot of water and juice available to drink, but nothing more at least on the floors.

Thanks to all those who have offered spiritual support and support with the things we have needed to do. We cannot express how much we have relied on the support throughout the last many months.

We pray for all the families who are looking at much longer stays than we have had and pray they can get the support they need too.

Yippee!

I am so happy to report I have been let off of the complete bed rest that I have been confined to for the last month. I still have to take it easy, but it was the best news I could have gotten. It was great timing because my best friend was in town so we actually got to go do some things instead of hang out in the hotel room all weekend.

God is teaching me so much patience this summer and a lot of times, I don't want the lessons but know they make me a stronger woman of faith. I am so blessed to have all the support I have, even being so far away from home. It is easy to get discouraged when everything seems to be working against you, but in the last week we have secured a place to live, found out the baby is developing normally and that I can resume some normal activities - all good news when it was really needed! Now if only I could have a drink....:).

The Gifts In My Life

The last several months have been a lot of ups and downs, but mostly I feel like it's just been us trying to keep our heads above water. God continously reminds me when it seems like everything can't get worse, He is there carrying me when I can't walk one more step.

Out of the blue, we have been blessed with new people in our lives. Even with me stuck at home all the time, I have still had visitors and we have made it through. It is just nice to have interaction with others especially during this period. It's so nice when friends of your friends are people you would be drawn to anyway.

The doctors said I may be able to begin a modified bed rest in a few weeks, which at least gives me something to look forward to. Guess we'll see:).

Lately I've bene thinking about how difficult life has been and then I just get more frustrated and depressed. Instead I realized I really need to focus on all the gifts I still have in my life and what I can do to serve God, even from my prime spot on the couch.

My husband is such a gift in my life. Oh yes, we fight and don't agree on so many things, but when it comes down to it, he is my greatest supporter and my greatest ally and God reveals Himself to me through my husband in all the little things my husband does.

Whether it's getting up to make sure the door is locked each night after we're nice and comfy in bed or making sure I have milk in the fridge even when he hates milk and would likely never buy it if it weren't for me, he does so many things when he's so tired to serve me. They may not be the exciting romantic spur-of-the-moment weekends or grandieur things novels write about, but in the end those little things are more wonderful and really show how much someone really loves you than the other actions.

Chaos and Blessings

That seems to fit life pretty well right now. In the midst of all of our chaos, we have had many blessings and are so grateful for friends, family and prayer partners God has placed in our lives over the years.

We thought we found a place to move into by next Friday, unfortunately the tenants can't get out in time and so we either have to find another place, find a smaller place, try to extend our stay here for a few weeks and rent a storage unit or pay a lot more for a place that's too pricey. We're not sure what will be the best option, but pray God shows us what path we should take.

With me being on complete bedrest, our toddler began daycare full-time. I hate putting him in it and he cries when we have to leave him, but I know at least he's getting a chance to play and be active instead of sit at home with me.

I was so pleasantly surprised by a box of goodies from friends in Minneapolis. It really, really made my day a bit brighter and was a very wonderful surprise. I also got a wonderful box of crocheting goodies and books from my mom, which really helps kill the boredom.

We've also gotten several prayers from many places and a lot of support who have faced similar situations. It really seems like when it rains, it truly pours. It is just nice to have people share their experiences saying they've been there and are still alive to talk about it:). It has really helped me feel more hopeful that this too will pass and we'll come out that much stronger when it is over.

My husband is such a blessing to me, especially during this time. He has taken on so much with no complaint and I know it's not easy for him. I couldn't ask for a more selfless and loving spouse. At times like these, when one of us truly carries the load (right now him), I really remember what a good team we can be.

He said sometimes he really enjoys me having to need him because I don't tend to be as needy as a lot of girls and would rather do a lot of things on my own. We truly need each other for support and love and prayers and it can be easy to forget when things are running smoothly. We especially need it during things like wrapping up grad school, moving to a new city and state and me being on months of bedrest.

So I thank God for a good man who makes me so thankful I married him. Even through our struggles and frustrations, we are gently reminded our marriage really is worth fighting for and we should always seek to strengthen the relationship and marriage we have, because it truly is a gift.