Maybe it's because I'm stubborn. Maybe it's because I'm prideful. Maybe it's because when I need others to help me I feel so helpless and sometimes hopeless and out of control. I know I can be a bit of all of those.
I love this quote from Matthew Kelly's "Mustard Seeds" book
God loves a cheerful giver, but He also loves those who are able to receive graciously and thankfully.
First of all, I think God allows times in our lives where we need others' help to help us grow in our relationship with him, our humbleness and in community with our neighbors.
This past year has been a lot of needing others' help.
When we moved up here and I was put on bed rest two weeks later, I was reminded how blessed I was with friends and family across the country who sent supportive cards, gifts and phone calls offering encouragement and prayers. When my son was born, we were blessed again with help through the first few weeks with our older son. Just the past few weeks, we were blessed again when we had to spend a week in the nICU wiht our baby and many people stepped up with prayers and assistance.
I hate asking people for help and feeling like I can't make it alone(there's that pride creaping in). While I think you make your own lives, there are times things out of our control temporarily create our live situations and we need to be able to graciously and thankfully accept help when offered or ask for it when it is needed.
I even hate asking God for help, but the reality is none of us would be where we are today with the help and love from our friends, family and most importantly God. I truly believe no one is totally self-made, although many people claim to be, because no one achieves a great success without God or other people playing some role in it. Likewise, no one overcomes a great obstacle without at the very least God guiding us through.
So when I get to that point of desperation and I realize I need help from others, I still initially try to figure out a way to make it work without asking for help, oftentimes turning down well-meaning friends.
Then God gently reminds me that sometimes we are there to give and other times we are there to receive, without shame, without apologies, just with grace. What a great gift God has given us others to help us on our journey and that He helps carry our burdens when they become too much to handle.