8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies. 11 For while we live, we are always being given up to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus may be made visible in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you. 13 But just as we have the same spirit of faith that is in accordance with scripture - "I believed, and so I spoke" - we also believe, and so we speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus, and will bring us with you into his presence. 15 Yes, everything is for your sake, so that grace, as it extends to more and more people, may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. 16 So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. 17 For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.I sat there on Holy Thursday reading these words in a book entitled "Hope," which was actually a copy of the New Testament at the Children's Hospital where my son was for a third time this winter. The part that especially stood out to me was the last two verses:
17 For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.I know I've heard it a million times, but with the all the stresses of the week and being faced with very real and scary possibilities for my little baby, it struck me very hard. Even if he has a disease we are concerned he may, we know it is only temporary and every situation in life prepares us for heaven by allowing us to grow closer to God.
Knowing that doesn't make it easy to face. No mother wants to face that their baby may have something wrong with them no one can fix, at least with current medicines or treatments. But I truly find comfort in the Bible and what God has promised for us and I trust He will take care of our needs. Of course I don't want my baby to have this problem and face all the complications that come with it, but if he does, I trust God will give us the strength and the resources to do what we need to do.
Life is truly fragile and we are blessed with as little or as much as we get of it. Just as I strongly felt it was not our right to have children, even after losing several babies to miscarriages and knowing we may never be able to carry a baby to term, I feel our children are still God's. While they bless our lives, we have to remember they are not ours to keep. They are on loan and we are called to love them as God loves them, despite all obstacles.
So I thank God for my little boys and know I will love them with all I have for as long as I live. I praise God I have been entrusted with their little lives for as long as that may be.