Sunday, November 11, 2007
So I am from Missouri and am currently living on the East Cost - drastic change in the everyday life. Everything from what's around, to what people do to the pace of life is different. I think we are adjusting quite well, but after so many moves and never feeling too settled since we have been married we pretty much know what to expect when we move.
First there's the initial awe. Everything's new and different and an adventure. Due to my bed rest, this time was very quickly halted a few weeks after we arrived, but generally, that happens for a few months - 6 months tops.
Then there's the letdown period. I personally think this is the most difficult time period. It's when you are somewhat settled and actually know someone, anyone in the area, but not well enough to just hang out with them. A lunch date requires at least a week or two advance notice and spending any time on a weekend together could be fun, but also requires a lot of advance notice.
Finally, after usually a year or so there's a new comfort. You have some friends with which, if you left, you actually may remain in touch with. You don't know the area really well, but you know where the closest grocery stores, Targets and other necessities are. You know the quickest routes and possible alternatives if the main road is clogged.
So right now we're sitting in that in-between time. What's a bit more challenging is that we're having a baby any day. We are so excited, but it is also a bit scary.
My husband and I have spent a lot of time talking about what has moved us around so much and although we are glad we have had the experiences, we would have both welcomed a move back to Missouri, but we believe that door was shut at the time because God has a different plan for us right now. If we're honest with ourselves, we know even if the door had been slightly ajar, we would have done everything to push it open. We just wait for God to reveal what the plan is, whenever that may be.
As I was "cleaning" my digital files today, I came across a song that I think says what we feel. It's from a country star originally from Missouri and it's called "Missing Missouri."
I admit I can't listen to it without tearing up because even though we aren't touring like she talks about, I didn't grow up in the boothill and I didn't sneak out except once growing up:), I do feel like we are on another type of road. Whenever it leads us back home, even for brief amounts of time, there's a sense of relief, comfort, recognition and belonging that all the other places in the world can't compare to. Some days my heart just aches for that.
So anyway, this got longer than I planned but here is the song.
I love my life, love my husband
Without those kid's, man I ain't nothin'
I love my fans, love my band
Love my little Tennessee piece of land
Sometimes my life can get so hectic
Out of the blue when I least expect it
Somewhere between the hubbub and the drama
I get to thinkin' bout mama and
I'm caught up in missing Missouri
'Cause I wanna be with my family
Instead of stuck out on this road I'm on
Everytime my bus wheels hit the boot hill
There's no limelight and I'm alright
'Cause I'm almost home
Where they love me, where they know me
Where they show me back in Missouri
the road just ain't no place for whiners
It's motels, truck stops, all night diners
Hoping that your song'll sell
And having to smile when it ain't doin well
So when everything just gets too much
And I feel like I'm givin up
I close my eyes and say a little prayer
And its like I'm there and
Late summer nights sneakin out the window
Me and the girls driving down the backroads
Tobacco fields and bumblebees
And the cardinals playing on TV